Navigating the Plus One Dilemma: How to Decide Who Gets a Plus One at Your Wedding

Tips and Etiquette for Determining Plus Ones and Ensuring a Memorable Celebration

Photo: Chris Kim | Planning: Kesh Events

Planning a wedding involves making countless decisions, and one that often stirs up some debate is determining who gets a plus one. Balancing your budget, venue capacity, and creating a meaningful guest list can be challenging, but with some thoughtful consideration and a touch of wedding etiquette, you can navigate the plus one dilemma with grace. In this article, we'll provide you with practical tips to help you decide who receives a plus one invitation and ensure a memorable celebration for all.

1. Define Your Wedding Guest List :

Criteria: Begin by establishing clear criteria for determining who will receive a plus one invitation. Consider factors such as the length and seriousness of the relationship, whether the guest will know other attendees, and your overall guest count and budget.

2. Communicate Clearly:

Clearly communicate your plus one policy on your wedding invitations or wedding website. Make it known whether the invitation extends to single guests only or if there are specific guidelines for plus ones, such as being engaged or in a long-term committed relationship.

3. Accommodate Married and Engaged Couples:

It is customary to invite married couples and those who are engaged to be married to your wedding with a plus one. This acknowledges their committed relationship and allows them to celebrate as a couple.

4. Consider Established Couples:

For couples who have been in a committed relationship for a significant period, it is courteous to extend a plus one invitation. This helps ensure they feel comfortable and can fully enjoy the celebration.



5. Evaluate Single Guests:

For single guests, use your discretion based on their social connections. If they will know other attendees, such as close friends or family members, it may not be necessary to provide a plus one. However, if the guest may not know anyone else, consider offering them the option to bring a date to make them feel more at ease.

6. Be Consistent:

To maintain fairness, consistency is key. Apply your plus one policy consistently across all guests to avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings.

7. Have Some Flexibility for Special Circumstances:

Be open to considering special circumstances where a plus one might be appropriate. This could include a guest who will be traveling from afar or a close friend who may not know many other attendees.

8. Personalize Your Approach:

Remember that every wedding is unique, and your guest list should reflect your personal preferences. Consider your venue capacity, budget constraints, and the overall atmosphere you desire for your celebration.

Deciding who gets a plus one at your wedding requires thoughtful consideration and clear communication. By defining your criteria, being consistent, and considering the circumstances of your guests, you can navigate this aspect of wedding planning with ease. Ultimately, the goal is to create a memorable celebration where both you and your guests feel comfortable and surrounded by loved ones.

Happy Planning xx

Akeshi Akinseye

Global Luxury Event Planner & Designer. Tastemaker.

Akeshi Akinseye is the founder of Kesh Events, a global event planning and production firm known for leading refined, high-touch celebrations worldwide.

She is the author of The Art of Celebrating, a book dedicated to meaningful gatherings, thoughtful design, and the rituals that bring people together. Through her work, Akeshi explores celebration as both an experience and a philosophy—rooted in intention, culture, and care.

Her perspective has been featured in The New York Times, Forbes, Brides, People, and other leading publications.

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